The other day I was kicked from a group on Facebook. Why? My drawing is too realistic.
I kid you not.
My drawing had to be a cheat… Why is that? And why do I face this all my life? I reach for the stars but all I end up with is dust…
Maybe I ought to get used to it, but it always throws me. The people who are meant to support and nurture me are the ones who push the star out of the way. I don’t need it or they are saving me the trouble because they KNOW I will never make it. I’ll never get there so they help with the heartache by making me realise my own restrictions. What I can get and what I reach for are two different things.
I still dream of the star though. I still reach out and try to snag one. Maybe one day I will but I’m getting tired of coming almost close enough. Dreams lead us, they show us what might be. I’m just wondering if it is all a lie. Maybe the dreams are only that and I have to place my two feet firmly on the ground and simply take what I can get…
I wonder how long I will last if I do. I worry that if I do that and stop dreaming then I will turn to dust. Oh, I’ll still be here but the sparkle will die. That thing that makes me grin even if I ought not to, that will be gone.
Still, for the time being I will take what I can get and I’ll see. How long will it take before the cracks show because I have a distinct feeling I should have got that star, even if only my finger tips grazed it. You see all I needed was someone to help me take a good grasp. Someone to place a hand either side of me, take a good grip and lift.
One day I will get there. And if I have to do it alone then I will. But I have noticed… Once I lose a star I never look back. I never see if it is following me, if it wants to be caught. Instead, head down, I will look at my feet and plod along. How many stars have I missed just because I was alone and I didn’t see the light it cast as I was staring at the ground thinking I had missed it?