Do you rely on them? I have in the past. I’ve even lost friends over them when my instinct has come so close to truth that they have become frightened I was some kind of psychic…
I just rely on instinct.
If someone has been angry all week and you have a meeting with them there is always the chance that they will be angry at the meeting. So if you tell people ‘they will be angry’ it can look like you are seeing into the future. You’re not, you are just acting on instinct.
I am terrible at body language and the result is that I people watch. I examine how people react. And I have got better. I can now understand who is happy to see me and who really isn’t. I can tell those who are being polite and those who find me interesting.
I don’t get it right all the time but when I do I can’t help but give an internal smile. The Aspergers has meant that people are something I don’t understand. I mean I know I ought to. I’m a person as well, but it is difficult. The body language cipher was missing from my make up. I’ve had to teach myself.
I’ve taught myself to meet people’s eyes. To mirror emotions so it looks like you get it. To smile and be happy and to be caring when people are down.
One thing I can’t do is anger and violence. I have only shown that trait a few times and every time I was protecting someone else. My instinct was to step in the way. And on both occasions the problems stopped. I think because they were shocked that a short, over-weight Asian lady just stepped into their path. It was instinct and in both cases I was lucky. But I run a lot of my life relying on instinct.
My brain will pick up signals and angles and jump to conclusions that I then use them to act on instinct. Sometimes that can make me seem like some Marvel character, but mostly people look at me as if I’m a loon. But that weirdness is what makes me … me.
I won’t change.
Can’t handle my instincts?
Then jog on because they are going to keep coming.