There isn’t a lot I can do about it. I have been larger than I am now. A lot larger, but oddly I am never aware of my weight until I start to lose it. Then I feel vulnerable. Then I feel fat.
Up until then it is as if I don’t care. And I don’t.
I start to lose weight and suddenly I’m aware that I am fat. I have to buy clothes… And I realise that the image in my head is not what I look like.
I make a lot of my own clothes. You would have thought that if I see a thinner me in my head, then I would cut them all too small. But the opposite is true. You see my metal image is smaller but the one I see in the mirror is huge!
I made a dress yesterday. I cut it out to my size. I even used a tape measure.
I ended taking it in by about eight inches… I basically had to re cut it.
I’m not that big. Not as big as I think I am.
I’m not as small as I imagine myself to be.
I sit in the middle.
And yes, I have bits that jiggle, but I am trying to love them. I’m trying to feel comfortable in my own skin. And for the most part I am succeeding.