Have you ever had something happen to you that makes you so scared that you ignore the situation? I mean, so bad that it just can’t be analysed. You can’t think about it. Even though you are still in the situation it is as if your whole being shuts down.
Perhaps if you look in the mirror you might see the lines around your eyes. Not the laughter ones you expect but small fissures that show stress and make you look hunted. They can appear slowly but once there they can take an awful long time to go. You start to look tired and your smile becomes somehow strained. Not that you are forcing it but that you are digging deep in order to find something to smile about.
That has happened to me.
You get a look in your eye and those that know you will stop and ask the question…
“Are you alright?”
And normally you answer with a…
…when really you want to say that you need to run, you need to get away. That the situation you are in has got you so scared that there is only one thing to do – flee.
But do you let people know?
If you are physically hurt does it show? If it doesn’t then what do you do. Tell them of a hidden hurt. What if the people in front of you don’t understand or blame you…
Because if you are ready to flee that is the one thing you believe. That you are in some way at fault. Even if you aren’t. It is so much easier to blame yourself than the one who you were with. And they, of course, will lay blame on anything and anyone but themselves. You are in the firing line, as are friends and family.
When that happens you have to flee otherwise you will lose yourself.
Eventually when you are free you will look around and sigh. You will be thankful that you escaped and are safe. You will see your friends and family and realise you are loved. But that first step has to be done by yourself. It is the hardest step. It is further than the moon and as close as your hand. But from that moment you flee is the moment that you take back your life and yell at the sky you are stronger than you ever thought imaginable.