It was writing group day and I had got ready with cards and a secret Santa present… and then left them on the dinning room table.
I didn’t realise that I had until I got to the house where the meeting/party was. Instantly, I felt guilty. But, you know what, no one minded. When secret Santa was pulled I just didn’t get a present. It wasn’t that bad. I did wonder at what everyone had got, but I wasn’t wracked with guilt. I was sorry that I’d forgotten the present but it wasn’t the big end-all problem I thought it would be.
A lot of the time the Asperger’s can get bad if I fail at something, but the feeling never came. I waited…
Then I realised that it wasn’t going to. The reason? I like the people I meet with and I’m comfortable in their company, so there are no issues. Yes, I forgot but it is no big deal.
That got me thinking about the ghost writing and my own writing. I have been taking on the writing in order to earn some cash, but it is easier if I just do the illustration for others.
I don’t know. Maybe it’s because my writing feels more like ‘mine’. I think it has to do with me not learning to read until I was 11. I think that because I have only been writing for the last two years it feels new and very personal. It’s harder to hand over the rights to a story than it is for the artwork. It’s as if I’ve become desensitized to doing it for the art.
So from now on, to save my own heart-ache I’m going to be drawing for a living. Anyone want a portrait or pet portrait?
I’m kidding… Unless you do?
But hopefully this will cut down on the stress. And I won’t forget anymore presents. At least today I remembered the cake!