What has Bitsy become? #thegone #amwriting #novel

The Gone

I stare at him. Did he just make a joke? Max gives a slight smile but his eyes don’t leave mine.

I have so many questions, and I want to ask them but I can’t, not sounding like this. I close my eyes and try to calm down. When I look back at my hands they are the right colour. A check on my teeth reveals my normal human pegs.

“What have you done to me?” I whisper.

Max sighs and looks away. “I had to.”

“Had to?” I repeat.

Even Colin looks away. “I’m hungry,” he says.

I step back, there is no way that I’m going to be anyone’s dinner.

“No, Bitsy,” Max says. “We don’t need blood. We still eat and drink normally.”

“But I had teeth,” I say, gesturing to my mouth.

“Yes, but only when you’re worried or angry. The rest of the time you’ll…

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Bad Luck comes in 3s

Bad Luck 1 – 

I still have no idea what DNS is, just that when I finally got broadband back it wasn’t working…

Last Monday (20th October) we had a storm hit here. It was nasty with very high winds. I went to bed with broadband working and work up with no phone line or internet. Then the phone call (on my mobile) to BT and being told that I had to wait until Monday the 27th for an engineer. The result was no blogging or social media except a few hours caught at my sisters and the library.

So I’m finally back up and running and having a slight DNS problem, but I think I’ve got it sorted. I’m able to blog… which is a plus. The internet is a little slow but I’m told that it will speed up and become as fast as it was, which although not super-fast, was okay.

Bad Luck 2 – 

It started with a muffin and ham. There were no hard lumps or hidden sharp food, but seconds from biting down I felt something large and hard. One of my teeth had just lost its filling and a little more. A mad dash to the mirror revealed an infection and a hole so large you could see the root.

Oh no, I thought and went back to my food. First I did the – can I feel anything test. I took a large mouthful of hot tea and swished. Of course if it had hurt then I’m sure I would have spit out the tea and screamed, but luckily there was a sore feeling but no immediate screams.

The good news? Having seen the dentist I’m booked in to have it out after a course of antibiotics to kill the infection. There isn’t even enough left to root fill, so there is no other option than getting it taken out. So next week (Thursday) I go to have my first tooth removed…. Ah! But at least it will be over soon, and there should be little pain once I’m healed. Still not a great thing to happen.

Bad Luck 3… and the worst.

Pi… You know Pi –

Well, he was out hunting. He was chasing a rat across the road when a car came around the corner and hit him. The car was going very fast. So fast that Pi wouldn’t have felt a thing. He was hit and killed instantly.

We were sitting in the living room and heard the thump. We thought that the car parked in front of the house had been hit.

We were out there in minutes but he was already gone. I miss him something awful.

*     *     *     *     *

So, thats it, my bad luck. Now I know that it always comes in 3s, so I am done with bad luck. Finished! Now only good luck, because I’ve had enough of pain, stress and crying. From now on all bad luck is banned, at least until next year.

Shadows Close is ready for pre-order

Yes! The book is ready for pre-order! It will be out on the 31st of October and I can’t believe it. I really worked to the wire with this one…

The paperback is fully illustrated and the ebook is just the stories (no illustrations). It is also registered in Kindle Unlimited, so you can download it for free on Halloween.

The links to the book are:


Shadows close poster

The Light

The light – what has happened to Bitsy? #thegone #amwriting

The Gone

Around me there is light everywhere and it hurts. I think I’m screaming, but I can’t hear anything. I can feel hands holding me down and the roughness of concrete on my back. I can also hear laughter and a soft thumping noise. Everything seems too loud and the light is hurting my eyes.

“I think she is coming round,” a voice says and I can tell it is Colin, although he sounds as if he is yelling in my ear instead of talking normally.

The light is gone and I can see his concerned face looking at me.

“What?” I ask and then I remember what they did. “How could you” I cry and crawl backwards away from them.

Max had been holding my legs but now he puts his hands up, palms out, as if letting me know he was harmless. Except I know the truth.

“You turned…

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Trigger words and blogging

Actually it is all writing. I would love to say that my life has been all roses and chocolates, but it hasn’t. Instead, I have had my time crying in corners and flinching in fear, but I don’t let that rule my life. I stand with it at my back, but I don’t continuously look at it. I don’t dissect my past, it was something that happened. I came through it and it made me the person I am. I’m just astounded that I’m not bitter, and completely over the moon that I’m not. But every now and then I come across a trigger word.

No, it isn’t usually a word, it is normally a passage. And that can throw me back to the past. I can re-live it or it just plays in my head like my own sick movie. But it happens. I’m not affected by a lot, hell I love paranormal romance and that can get a little extreme. For me the trigger is more about the psyche of the people going in.

I have a short story with a publisher at the moment; it’s about a love affair between two serial killers, but for me there is no trigger. Because they are loving to each other, not so much to anyone else, but they respect and cherish each other. So I have no problem with the violence. But I just read something that made the man (it could have been a woman) who set out to dominate and abuse a woman. He wasn’t in love and he got away with it, leaving her broken.

The BBC drama ‘Murdered by my boyfriend’ did the same. There was no reason other than the antagonists own gratification and dominance. But it was the ‘getting away with it’ and the simple waste – my triggers.

I don’t go out of the way to find them but sometimes they sneak up on me. That got me thinking. I write thrillers and horrors, and what if I write other peoples triggers in there? What if my work, instead of being spooky and a little scary, becomes horrendous for others?

It got me worried.

Then I thought about other authors. Surely the horror writers out there must realise that some of their stuff will offend? Anyway, I thought about it and wondered if I ought to limit my writing. Make it more – safe…

I couldn’t…

Instead, I have got to write what I write and be true to myself. I have a feeling that if I subdued my imagination it would stop working for me…

Oh, and the story about the serial killers? Well, if the publishers don’t want it I’ll try others, but if it gets nowhere I’ll self-publish and you can all have a look. 🙂

Where has the time gone?

I am rushed off my feet. I mean… I knew I had deadlines but this is ridiculous. I am working but feeling as if all I’m managing to do is stay in the same place.

I know I’m not.

But it feels like it.

So the book will be out on the 31st October, but I’m running behind, so at the moment I am juggling masses of work. Not to worry though – it will all work out.

Overly optimistic?


But it will be on time.

Now let me get back to writing.

And I apologize to fans of ‘The Gone’. As soon as I have this under control I will get back to posting regularly. I am such a bad blogger.