Out of my comfort zone…

So today I am doing something that is so completely stressful that I am a nervous wreck. At the moment I look like this:

Why? You ask.

Well, I am off to do a Chinwag or open mike night at Aberystwyth Arts Centre. And I’m bricking it.

Don’t get me wrong – I have read before but this time is different. This time I am reading from my own book. And then I will have a few for sale after. Now, I’m not worried about the selling. People will want one or not.

What worries me is the reading.

The likelihood of my stumbling over the words is high. If I get stressed the dyslexia could make my stories dance and me freeze.

But I have read before. So it ought to be better. And this time I have practiced… I know what I’m reading and I have a plan.

I’m driving so alcohol can’t smooth the wheels. Instead, I’m going to have to rely on my skill, little as it is, for reading. I just have to remember to slow down and breath. Keep calm.

But I have the bit between my teeth now. The open mike works on a first come, first served basis, so if the list fills up and I miss my chance I can guarantee I will be disappointed. I need to read. I have to get over this fear. Practice is what I need, but not in front of my parents or a mirror, but out there. On a stage.

So tonight I will go early and stand in line. I’ll give my name and stand in front of everyone to read two stories, five minutes of material. If I stumble it will be fine and if I fly then I will have made it past the monster who haunts my nightmares.

In the audience there will be friends and I hope they will clap despite my stammers and pauses, because for me every clap or smile says, don’t worry you are doing fine.

So wish me luck and tomorrow I’ll tell you all about it. 🙂

phantom horse book

This post was inspired by the daily prompt – witness protection.

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26 thoughts on “Out of my comfort zone…

      1. Yeah, the weekly writing challenge is out of my comfort zone. You encourage me with your determined spirit. I’ll do it soon. Meanwhile, prayers for success.

  1. I do hope that it went well for you, Kate. Well done, it takes a lot of bottle. I am thinking of the same ordeal at Poems and Pints in Carmarthen……….. and haven’t got the bottle up yet.

  2. You are going to be fine, just go in there and read the words that you wrote. Act like you’re reading it back to yourself out loud. If you have to don’t look up until you’re done. What have you got to lose. You wrote a book. That was the hard part. Hugs..

    1. Thank you. It went fine, although I felt more like a scared rabbit than a confident writer. Those in the audience said I read well though. 🙂

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