My Toy Box

From the daily prompt of – Can’t Get Enough

I have one thing that I am finding difficult to give up – money. Now I work as a self-employed toy-maker but due to my eyes not working great I am giving it up…

Except I’m not.

Oh, don’t get me wrong I have excellent intentions… But when the orders come in I find myself taking on a few. I shouldn’t. I should be looking after my sight and increasing my writing portfolio but I then start worrying about that thing you can’t do without – money.

If I am as frugal as a frugal thing, I have money saved to enable me to write for a few months without worrying, but still I have a nagging voice in my head.

“What if this is the last time to make money…” it whispers all day.

It wears me down. So I am having to wean myself off the toys. Wean myself away from saying yes and toward saying no. Trying to stop the tired eyes and headaches.

But it is hard. I am pinning my hopes on a dream and I live in the real world, the one outside my window. The one that doesn’t have happy endings and no one rides off into the sunset. So I am hoping that my dream will mean I can make money at writing.

Of course I have a secret – I think it is working. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have the elusive book contract or movie deal, but in small ways money is starting to flow. I can do freelance and make money that way. Or I can write my own work and try to find a publisher. It is possible. It has to be.

Once the toys are gone there is no back up plan. If I fall after I have given up the ‘toy-maker’ title I will fall and it will hurt. But I have to believe. Every time I get something accepted I think I am closer, and every time the writing is refused I don’t think of it as a sign, but as a prod to try harder.

So I will write and I will give it a go. Maybe it will work and maybe it won’t. But I want to say in old age – I tried. Instead of  – if only.

🙂

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18 thoughts on “My Toy Box

  1. Strange… I’ve just written a post about money, but from a completely different perspective (it’s about bartering). It’s such a shame about the toy-making, but perhaps this is the motivation that will make you a best-selling author. So when will that novel that you told be about be out?

    1. I’m writing the novel as part of the November National Novel Writing Month. So it will have a first draft before December but I want to get the novel finished by summer next year. 🙂
      I’ll still make toys, just not commercially.

  2. Sorry to hear about the toymaker. But you could become the wordshaker. I really hope things work out for your. Good luck with your writing.

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