Not many will know that I make my living making toys… – Really. Soft Toys and Rag Dolls. Except that it has a cost, one that when I opened the business I had no idea.
Firstly your wrist and shoulder ache continually, then your back joins in and lastly your ribs. The eye-strain is incredible and you get chest infections from the fluff. All of this I could cope with but my body has decided to give me a sharp shake.
When I was 20 (a long time ago) I caught a virus in the back of my eye. I was lucky and the damage was minimal but I was warned that it might get worse. Guess what? It’s finally getting really bad and the constant eye-strain is not helping. At the same time as this is happening I find out I can write.
Now I can hear you say that computers = eye-strain. But it really doesn’t. I mean if you spend all day every day on the computer – maybe. But if you walk around and research, chat to the walls (they listen to plot changes very well) and take walks to get your head in gear, then you are not straining your eyes.
So I thought – become a writer. I must admit most have said I am completely optimistic but I just shrug and nod. Maybe I am but I’m out of ideas. I’ve not got long with the toys.
The latest is cluster migraines. Last week I ended up in hospital with one. They are screamingly nasty. It feels like your head is going to explode and you have to be watched because you are liable to hurt yourself in order to get the pain to stop. Anyhow the doctor now has me on pills to stop the headaches occurring (so far they are working) and I have to ease up on the eye-strain. Hard to do when your work means eye-strain. So I’ve cut back on the toys, the lead times are the longest they have ever been, but people are willing to wait.
I am living my life in fear of head-aches, writing as much as I can in order to get away from eye-strain and making toys, despite everything. I turned to my mum the other day and said – any one else would be off work?
Yes – she said.
I nodded. I can’t – I said – there is no one else to do the work.
She nodded. I got a headache that night. At least it was just a headache though. No clusters. I’m one week without a migraine and counting. Things are getting better but if I disappear it is because of the migraines. Hopefully I will be blogging from now on. 🙂
And yes I’m on the waiting list to see a specialist about the eye – which is causing the migraines. Hopefully, they can fix the problem or advise me how to cope.