This is the first of a challenge I am taking part in. Each day I am given a prompt and must write a logline on this prompt. Today’s is ‘shell’. Find out more here – https://www.facebook.com/groups/loglinechallenge/
A man is walking down the road that is the red-light district in Paris. Along the road is a number of windows, each lit with red. In each window sits a woman. One catches his eye and he stops. On her thigh is a tatoo of a shell.
The man is a private detective and specialises in looking for people. The girl in the window was once a fourteen year old in Scotland who disappeared. The shell tattoo was done without her parents permission, she ran from home after her parents had told her off. The story tells of how the girl became a woman; a woman who is owned.
Revised – 18.46 1st June 2013
Oops… Turns out this is more of a synopsis rather than a logline…
Oooo intriguing… I like the air of mystery! It makes you really want to know what is meant by “owned” and who is looking for her. Your style is very creative; definitely from a novel writer’s quill. I think it reads more like a proposal teaser or a blurb – which is great for that sort of approach. As a short logline/premise, we could perhaps do with knowing a bit more (but in a more concise way) so that we can ascertain who the protagonist is, what their goal is and what obstacles/antagonists are going to cause trouble for them on their journey…
Comment on Facebook by Michelle Goode
And she is right. I went here – http://www.writesofluid.com/loglinechallenge-why-initial-loglines-neednt-be-perfect/#.Uaoyb0CTjSh – which explains all about loglines.
I should have looked at it before… Oops!
So my first logline is:
On the busy streets of Paris, in the red-light district, Marcus spots a girl he has been looking for, a girl who had been missing for the last ten years, identified by her shell tattoo. He must try to free her and keep them both alive.