Blur

I wear glasses, a lot… In truth all the time. I am particularly blind without them. If you know about eyes then I have astigmatism, a squint and myopia. If you don’t know eyes then I have nearsightedness, I can’t see horizontal or vertical and if I get tired my right eye can look at my nose.

I also have meares irlen, a condition that means I see too much light. Colours are brighter for me, light can be painful and I have to wear a tint on my glasses. It’s a sort of purple one. I also have a pair of reaction lenses that make the sun less of an issue, if I remember to wear them of course.

So life being a blur is something that I understand. It is all a blur at times. If I take my glasses off and see the world normally I don’t see much. Colours and light. Shapes.

But somehow it can also be the time that I see clearest. Not with my eyes though. You take my glasses and I can hear more, I smell more and I can taste more. My eyes are not the only sense I use. Sometimes it isn’t the fact I see someone that makes everything different. It is the fact that I can feel and smell them.

Sounds odd? Well, everyone has a smell, or a feel.

Because of my aspergers I have very little in the way of facial recognition. I have recently even even walked past my mum, and I have known her all my life.

I was a sickly child. And mum was forever being called into school. From the moment she opened the school door I would know she was there.

“She’s here,” I’d say to the nurse.

“How can you tell?”

And I’d just shrug. But the reality is that my mum drags one leg slightly, damage from a childhood accident. She has a unique beat, a music to her walk that I can recognise. The world may be blurry but I can use other senses to make it clearer.

So, yes I am odd. I will listen more than see. And I will recognise you from other things apart from your face. That is a blank canvas to me…

Inspired by the daily prompt – Blur

Juicy

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I’m getting to that bit in the novel where the action is about to pick up. I’m finding that I’m writing faster and faster, trying to finish. I need to know as much as you what my characters are going to do.

Sure, I plan, but the plans are never complete. There is always room for them to do something new. And the book hit a lull. For most that would be a quiet time but I found myself grinning. It only happens when the characters are starting to gather themselves.

They are about to launch themselves into the world again, and they will do it at break-neck speed. So I’m expecting some wonderfully juicy bits.

Yep, at the moment I’m writing with a grin…

Inspired by the daily prompt – juicy233798733_33f14e3441_o

Update

The ebook

What’s happening?

Well, I have been working like mad to get the picture book finished as a physical book and as an ebook, and I have finally managed. The two editions are now ready to be published and I hope to do that before the end of next week!

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The ebook
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The paperback

The colouring book needs two final illustrations and I’m thinking of the Pied Piper and Beauty and the Beast…

I just can’t decide whether to put their names on them or not… These are easy to see but some are more obscure.

Can’t make up my mind…

Heard

Have you ever listened to rumor? I do, but I try not to take any notice. And I do google my name with things like bad and negative comments next to it. I suppose it is in us all to see the worse easier than the best.

I saw this on Facebook today:

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And I realised that it is completely true. You don’t see yourself or how other people see you. I have friends and family who are supporting me through a bit of a tough time but I still look in the mirror and see someone who is washed out and defeated. But by the end of the day I have fought with my emotions and the reality of what has happened. I don’t see the me that everyone else does. I see the me that looks back with eyes have have too much in them.

Should I change?

I don’t think I can. All I can do is remember that I am more than that reflection. That people want to see me. That I am loved.

I just wish my friends would do the same, because some of them can tie themselves in knots because of what they have heard. How can one bad thing cancel out all the good?

I see it happen and watch it as it even happens to me. Why do I let it? Over something I have heard.

Inspired by the Daily Prompt – Heard

Clean

The paperback

It’s a clean getaway… I mean, when I first started the picture book project I didn’t understand how I was going to do it. I knew what it had to look like, but the whole concept of self-publishing a picture book is a hugely worrying thing.

How big should it be?

How do I make it look professional?

What makes a good picture book?

Yet, right at this moment the book is uploading. True, it is doing it very slowly as our upload speed it under 2mbs… So it may be finished in about an hour. But it really is uploading!

Then I can order a proof and decide whether it is good enough to print.

So far though I’m happy with it. The design looks clean…

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If the proof is good then it will be available soon!

Inspired by the daily prompt – clean

Showcase: Kate Murray

Oh… O have been featured on Irevuo!!! 🙂

irevuo

study-1c

“I was a troubled child, I didn’t fit in. I was subject to bullying, a social outcast. The kid who runs into the library at lunchtime because they have no one to talk to. That was me…”
“I didn’t learn to read until I was 11. But I could draw. I have always drawn. At first it was mice. I even sold them to classmates for pennies. Then I moved on to any animal and insect. I remember having a massive A2 sketchpad that was filled with huge drawings of spiders and centipedes. I drew everything. My school work was filled with lions and tigers, some eating, some drinking and others just staring out of the page. I’m guessing that my parents may have been asked to curb my enthusiasm, but how do you stop a child communicating when all they use are drawings?

Then at 11 I learnt to…

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