Urgent

This morning I woke up with a feeling that wouldn’t go away. It hung in the air and made me feel like I was missing something. The last few weeks have been one of change. I have picked up a troll, and my artwork and writing is taking a slightly different turn.

Normally one of these would make me feel a little out of sorts, but all together? Well, it has left me a little out of the loop. Don’t get me wrong most of these changes are for the good. Except the troll.

He doesn’t like my artwork, and is German – not that it really matters but it is good to see that trolls aren’t limited to your country of origin. The other lucky thing is that he is confined to one group on Facebook, so if I avoid that group I avoid my troll.

That and the fact he has made me sit up and look at my art. What am I trying to say? Well, I have been doodling people most days with the digital art. Chiefly, from movies and athletes, this has been to practice my line and style. It is pretty hard to draw with your hand but look at the line on a screen in front of you. It takes a bit of getting used to. But I think I have got there. Okay I’d prefer it if my lines were a little sharper, but I am happy to stop doodling and start creating art.

I also added up my doodles, I do about two or three a day. Do you know how many illustrations I could do instead? Well, it would be at least one. That would mean it would only take 20 days to get a picture book out! Or one day to design a card…

So what am I doing ‘practising’ so much? Why have I not decided to start using the digital art? It’s only because of one issue – I didn’t think I was good enough. Except I now have a troll. You only get them if there is something for someone to troll about. Of course I haven’t replied. Why would I? That is exactly what they want, but in a way I am happy. You see he has made me look at what I’m doing and realise that it is time to move on.

So my digital art is changing and my traditional stuff has begun to change as well. I am drawing more ‘art’ pieces. They have a message. I’m not just capturing moments but trying to say something with them. Take the one I am working on now… It is a self portrait but there is a large frame around it, and the frame is a crowd. But my face is separate… I don’t belong. It says something about me and how I feel.

Even my writing is changing. I can feel the characters fleshing out a little more, the scenes becoming a little more realistic.

In truth I can feel myself changing.

With it though comes this urgent feeling. That I ought to be doing something right now… That I ought to be…

Except there is nothing urgent like that. Oh, I would love to have a picture book finished and the Gone 2 complete. That the artwork that needs to be in the gallery next Monday was done (it really isn’t)… So perhaps the urgent feeling isn’t so odd.

Maybe I ought to get into the workshop…

Like now…

From the daily prompt – urgent